Love me, Jaded

I've been sitting at my mother-in-law's laptop for a little over an hour now, I'm sure, totally reminiscent of my typing girl photo I joyously posted in contribution to the bloggerific namesake, The Other Jaded Journalist, or TOJJ for short. My precious.

Why am I experiencing writer's block, you ask? Well, I'm experiencing an identity crisis.


No, not this kind. But Magic: The Gathering could be considered part of the problem...

Alright, here's the deal:

I got married on March 12, 2011. (Follow the link for more info on that than you'd ever like to know.)

Therefore...

I am, no longer single-y jaded, the only real jaded feeling I could cling to/identify with, after I got my Lisa mouse office job.

In fact, I feel like I'm really a different person than I was back in June 2010, the last time I posted on this blog. Little did I know then what I know now; that I'd meet my husband to be at the end of July 2010, which would rock my world (in mostly good ways; SEX!) and lead me into the roll I assume now:



A Childless Housewife, and a reluctant one, at best.



Unfortunately, both of those blogger identities already exist, the former in a hilarious feminist Mormon housewife named Amy and the latter in a calm Canuck named Melanie. Maybe, I could hybrid the two: The Childless, Reluctant Housewife?

So here's my dilemma: do I change my blogger name and this blog in its entirety? Comment away! Meanwhile, I'll continue my research and work on my "life changes" posting for Real Women Anonymous. It's gonna be big.

Quarter-life Crisis

Disclaimer: This entry is along the Hank lines, of why I started this blog in the first place.

I recently had a mental breakdown, and for me, it was rather puzzling as to why. My life is good, if not great. I have a stable, full-time job with more benefits than I've ever had in my life, I have a supportive ward with friends by the dozens and I live in a good place with great roommates.

So why the depressive spell? I guess it has to do with the fact that I started to feel trapped. I'm endlessly working, trying to pay off debt which is good, but I really got fixed on the fact that no Prince Charming has come along to sweep me off my feet. I have come into adulthood and will never be taken care of by a parent again (in the sense that everything is provided for me). I'm an archetype Alice, and I don't want to fall through that rabbit hole to find that there are more things I don't want that I must become.

What would you do with $92,000?

During an Institute class quite a few Tuesdays past, we studied Jacob 1-4 and discussed the three main topics; pride, greed/wealth and sexual sin.

Our teacher, Sister Jolene Smith, wrote on the chalkboard "$92,000," which intrigued me. She then posed the idea that we had just been given this sum of money, and we had to spend all of it in a few hours. (Funny that she posed this situation prior to what actually happened to Paul Fischer April 1st - an ironic, real-life April Fool's joke.)

So what would you do? Would you be able to spend it all? We broke into groups and as the Grinch would say we "puzzed our puzzlers." Some groups debated on whether tithing should be paid on the sum. Several boys yelled out "VIDEO GAMES!" to hearty chuckles.

My group consisted of Garrett Myler and another young man. I told them that my immediate thoughts when we were given this situation were that I could spend about half of it - pay off my school debt, car, credit card. "But after that, I really can't see where I'd spend the rest. I'd probably put it in savings," I told Garrett.

"I totally could spend it, " Garrett blurted out. His plan included buying a small house, flipping it and making a large profit somewhere in the LA area. His ability to know exactly what he'd do with the money (and the fact that it had nothing to do with immediate financial concerns) rather frightened me. Yes, his plan was a good one, but to know exactly what to do with it, to feel entitled to it with hardly any thought was... very LA.

I thought again about how I would spend that extra $ - now came the bigger question:

What does it mean to live rich?

Not like servants and gold silverware, but the middle-class ghetto version? Here's my spin.

Being rich is...

• Buying fresh new razors and never having to feel the burn from re-using one.
• The ability to use the a/c and heat controls at will, without worrying about the bill.
• Owning enough cute shoes to trade off so they don't get old and smelly.
• Being able to get gas and not worry if I'm getting the cheapest price.

• Having a never ending supply of milk! Maybe I'd buy my very own cow.
  
• Never resorting to eating the stale bread, the stale anything, because you have sufficient to buy good food. (my stomach would appreciate not playing the risky game, "Is this expired...yet?)


• Let's go back to good food - I'd own a juicer, eat organic fruits and veggies and have the means to cultivate the best tasting food on the planet. The ability to always eat something I'd want to eat, rather than resorting to that old donut in the break room.


• Having an extended collection of music - more John Mayer, less crap rap (even if it's good for driving in LA), so I can choose between the radio and my own favorite mixes.
  
• Living in a place where I can have a pet - a kitty! And maybe a pug dog.

Final thoughts: maybe I'd travel, own a cute home, do some charitable stuff.

Being rich, though, is nothing without family and friends who love me. In that, I am exuberantly and fortunately wealthy.

Feel free to leave a comment about what you'd consider "living rich." :)

500 Days of Summer

I realize this blog has turned into the antithesis of its creation - I keep talking more and more about myself and less about journalistic type things. So here's one to spice it up.

My friend Ken wrote a blog entry about this movie, and I'd heard many good things about it, but I just barely experienced it last night. And what an experience it was! I have officially fallen in love.



The best part of this movie is how accurately different parts of a dating relationship are portrayed - so accurate, at some points, that I felt uncomfortable, pained; my throat automatically groaned and I gently rocked myself back and forth on the couch. How had someone understood and nakedly exposed what I've felt and gone through many times over?

I thought I felt the same way with "He's Just Not That Into You," but I was sadly mistaken. That was really the poor man's version - it touches the surface of a jaded dating life, but doesn't quite cut it with the sappy ending.

Now, 500 Days of Summer, on the other hand, puts it out there from the very first minute into the film: "This is not a love story, but it is a story about love." (paraphrasing) In other words, it's about all the twists and turns, cuts and bruises that end up on your heart; the idea of a soulmate, one true love. But love, even an immature kind, is wonderful, and it's worth it! Or is it?

In the end, I have to say it is the journey, not the destination, that is important in finding true love. To quote C.S. Lewis, "Experience is that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn."

The message of this movie: every experience you have concerning love helps you learn what will lead you to that true love you seek.

Five friggin' stars, my friends! Now, a question for you; is "true love" worth it?

Not so jaded?

It's been WAY too long, but know that I have thought/craved/needed to blog for quite some time. Like since I got a full-time job at the beginning of December (Thank you, Lisa Mouse!) that has allowed me to

A) make some real money,
B) be paid a wage that makes my bachelors degree totally valid,
C) Let me come back to Church, with nights and weekends off - yay!
and D) made my life a whole less jaded. I now work somewhere with "Casual Fridays," paper pushers, my own phone extension and professional email address. In the words of J-Lo, "More 8-1-8" is so fun!


As the work portion of my life is taken care of, I am still jaded in dating/singledom respects. I am frustrated with Mormon boys, plain and simple. But I know there are more important things to concentrate on, like time management, becoming more musical (playing piano), a fitness guru - all things I can control. Like John Bytheway says, being single is like sitting at a piano, waiting for someone to sit down so you can play a duet. In the meantime, there's this other piece of sheet music that says "single, fulfilling life."

And I want that. I truly do.

Why are idiots allowed to be in management?

Sorry I've taken a leave of absence from my blog and have only been teasing you with titillating Twitter tweets (say THAT 3 times fast, lol). But I'm a workin' girl.

Yes, I work in retail, and yes, I'm overqualified to be a part-time associate. Shoot, I could be in corporate at the company I work for, doing their PR.

But back on topic - why is it that mean and jerky people are managers, and the nice people who SHOULD be in management aren't?

Case in point: I finally told off my assistant manager (AM) this week after they pushed one button too many (when I say "ok" during a gripe session initiated by her, meaning I understand what she is saying, NEVER say "no, it's not okay!" like a smart @ss right after. I will cut you!), and the next day when my manager asked about what took place and I explained it, she said she would talk to the AM about her management skills. YESSS! :)

My friend Andrea said she can't picture me telling someone off, so here's what I said, pretty much: "AM, I am LISTENING to what you are saying; I am doing my best here! You are not giving me ways to fix the situation you are talking about, and when the situation happened, you were on break and not in the backroom so I couldn't contact you." In response, my AM said I should've called her because I had her number, to which I said, "I have it on my cell phone. So you're telling me that I should've gone to the backroom when you told me implicitly today that I was NOT to go back there because we are too busy." Yeah. The AM shut up right after that.

And this AM is two years younger than me!! That's why I wasn't worried about speaking up, especially since in the past, when she's critiqued me for my performance for an obscene amount of time. Seriously, how long does it take a GOOD manager to say "You did well here, but you need improvement here?"

My AM loves to say instead, "You messed this up. Really bad. And this thing you did well? Not so impressive because the thing you did bad overshadows it."

Did I also mention that in a previous performance bashing, she said, "I know you have a year's retail experience at a different company, but you haven't shown us anything that shows it." Isn't that horrible? Especially when company policy says that during progressive counseling you are not to mention anything outside of their performance with the company. I probably should've called corporate and reported her, but I didn't. I figured in the long run, I'd be the one to get the ax.

I hate working with someone who has no respect for me and thinks I'm incompetent. Contrary to her belief, I do NOT come into work everyday with the mission of letting our sales numbers drop. I don't sit around idly watching people shop in our store - I proactively seek them out, bugging them with promotion banter and "How can I help you today?" I don't see how making me work and letting another associate who is being paid the same amount as me during a shift stand and talk with you about sports (while you desperately flirt with him) helps the "team" get tasks done faster. I also think my AM needs to lighten up about things, because our manager isn't even as concerned about things as she is!

Now, for more rants such as mine, check out the forums at www.retailsucks.com. I highly recommend it for any retail worker! :) My favorite thing? The description of a customer: "I want my items cheap, inexpensive, and free."

If you sold out and got a Twitter, say "Tweet Tweet!"

Tweet Tweet.

Yes, my fellow readers - I, The Other Jaded Journalist, decided to make a Twitter account for this blog. And myself.

"Hypocrite!" you may shout. "You said you hated Twitter in that one post that gained the most comments of any of your posts! How can you become a member of that which you despise?"

Quite easily, actually.

Here's the story: one night, I decided to venture onto Twitter and view celebrity tweets. As a lover of all things celebrity/entertainment news, I was delighted at what I found - real celebrities schmoozing with each other! I clicked on all of Ryan Seacrest's friends and found myself in a world of Hollywood glitter.

But then, Lisa had to break my bubble. Little known fact - a good amount of celebs don't use Twitter; they have ghostwriters post stuff they would probably post if they did. And another - celebs can pay people to make fake accounts to follow them, so it looks like they're popular.

How messed up is that? I know, I know, it's Hollywood, people are fake. But as Shaq said (who is the sole author for his account) in a New York Times article, "It’s 140 characters. It’s so few characters. If you need a ghostwriter for that, I feel sorry for you.”

Now, for the 5 things I've discovered that make Twitter enjoyable:

1) hashtags - these became incredibly useful for those following the twitter coverage during the Iran election. Basically, it's like google search on Twitter, using key words like AOL used to, for any topic that's currently "hot." For instance, #samoa and was a big one yesterday, with the earthquake and tsunami that devastated its people. Today, #Congratulations Rio is big because Rio De Janiero was chosen as host for the 2016 Olympics.

The only problem with hashtags is that people who want their tweets to be read will add the word to their tweet. So usually you have to search through a bunch of tweets that have nothing to do with the topic. Where's the moderator on this problem, I wonder?

2) accounts by comedians/media - Twitter is a great place to try out new bits for these witty folk. Check out Dane Cook, Steven Colbert and Chelsea Lately on my "following" list for them.

3) fan fiction accounts - the other day, "The Office Copier" added me to his following list.He (or she) tweets what a copier may think. Mad Men characters are all the rage, along with Harry Potter, Glee and The Office.

4) Twitterature - yes, some lucky English majors got a chance to rewrite several literary works into 140 character blips. What's disappointing to me, though, is the rule isn't one tweet per work, more like "as many tweets as necessary to capture the main points." Guess it's better than Cliff's notes.

5) Like People magazine, it allows me to combine my two loves - following celeb fodder AND current news. Plus, y'all get to see my random thoughts :)

As much as I'm addicted to Facebook, Twitter is fun to play with.

Now comment! Tell me what you think, my reader bebes!